DUBLIN, IRL – The pool draw for Rugby World Cup Japan 2019 (#RWC2019)took place this morning (4 AM EST) and fans across the world are hesitantly refreshing their computer screens praying their country didn’t get shunted into a group with New Zealand (or England, Australia, Ireland, South Africa, or Argentina for that matter).
— Alex Thomas (@alexthomascnn) May 10, 2017
During the 25 minute long ceremony in Kyoto, Japan, World Rugby decided the fate of the 20 teams that will be on display across Japan in two years time. The 12 automatically qualified nations now have two years to prepare for the World Cup stage while the other eight RWC spots will be filled through qualifying processes around the globe by the end of 2018.
Here’s how each of the already-qualified teams will react to the pool draw, maybe…
Pool A: Ireland, Scotland, Japan, Europe 1 (probably Romania), Europe/Oceania Playoff (probably Tonga)
Ireland: YES, thank you God, it would’ve been our luck to pull South Africa and the Argies. Japan is gonna be major craic. The Scots and the Japanese? We’ve definitely got a shot at a quarterfinal and….oh….feck….a quarterfinal.
Scotland: We were in Japan last summer so we’ve got that practice thankfully. The Irish will be tricky but we’ve got our sights set on redemption lads. Give us that highway robber Joubert and the Aussies in the knockouts, they won’t know what hit ’em. It’s going to be really sunny and hot right? Proper vacation then…just can’t forget the sunscreen.
Japan: We cheered when we saw we had Scotland and Ireland. Remember South Africa? Yeah…that was just the beginning.
Pool B: New Zealand, South Africa, Italy, Africa 1 (probably Namibia), repechage (maybe Canada, maybe Spain)
Kiwis: The Boks…eh well that’s our only challenge thankfully.
Springboks: Durban is well behind us now. We’ll be a fully developed team by 2019. In Coetzee we trust?
Canada (maybe): We’ll need some two-fours to get through watching this tournament.
Pool C: England, France, Argentina, Americas 1 (probs USA), Oceania 2 (probs Samoa)
England: Again? Really? Ah well it doesn’t matter now, the pool of death is no match for the Eddie Jones. We basically asked for a test with New Zealand in the fall and they said no, so we know they are already scared of us, now we just have to handle the French and the Pumas. At least the Welsh aren’t here this time…bloody dragons.
France: Nous reconstruisons. Les anglais pleureront à nos pieds. Pourtant, le jeu de l’Argentine sera difficile.
Argentina: Ugh, the English. The French are meh. We’ve got a shot, but it won’t be easy. At least Los Jaguares weren’t cut from Super Rugby, we would’ve been screwed.
Americas 1 (USA, probably): Houston, we have a problem.
Pool D: Australia, Wales, Georgia, Oceania 1 (probably Fiji), Americas 2 (probably Uruguay)
Australia: A fair dinkum draw. The Welsh are tough but hey, Georgia? That’s a game we will win. We need to do well in this tournament boys. We need something with union dying out around the country and all. #PulverOut
Wales: Ok we can work with us. The match against the Wallabies will be huge but after that looks lush. Our starters can put in a few minutes against the Georgians and have a cwtch during the other two matches. We’ll have Gats back to so we’ll definitely be making the knockouts.
Georgia: Hey, any game any day right?
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