“I’ve done my research and it costs $65’s for a drive-thru wedding at The White Chapel…”
Every week, England 7s star Mathew Drew Turner takes on the role of brazen, if not cheeky, reporter for RWU.
SOMEWHERE OVER EURASIA – The week has finally come for us to depart for the next two HSBC Sevens tourneys, Wellington & Vegas. The team has been selected and two changes have been made. Big John Brake returns to the mix, where he promises he ll do damage on and off the field. WARNING: All nuns out there should hide. NOW!
There’s also Tom Mitchell, aka Unaaay (he has ties with Oxford University so he’s Unsaay – just go with it)… This will be his first tournament for England and certainly won’t be his last. He is a very exciting player, which you will all get to see firsthand in the up and coming tournaments.
Anyway, we’re lucky enough to be going out to Wellington just under two weeks before the tournament, where most teams only arrive the m\ Monday before the tournament. But saying that most, teams dont have 36 hours of flying ahead of them. All I’m hoping is that I’m not sitting next to Dan Norton or Will Beeley.
If seats are allocated how they normally are, that means I’m going to have a long flight sitting next to our beloved Coach, Ben Ryan, who no doubt has gone and bought a gadget that either speeds up time, or stops you from getting jet lag… This brings to mind one of the previous gadgets he bought. It’s a small machine that has two lights on it and is meant to trick your brain into thinking it is daytime. Yet the only thing it possibly could do is blind you, or work as a pocket face-tanning device, which would go well with his gradual tanning face moisturizer.
Another piece of news: I am officially the oldest member of the back line! Withe the exception of Isoa Damu (whose photo is missing from the England Sevens site), who looks younger than me. (Blackberry sad face x2 🙁 🙁 ) The Blazing Squad (click THIS to get up to “speed” on that) is featuring massively in the backline in these two trips with Lewis-Pratt, Watson, Mitchell and myself all being in the mix.. and there are the other plus 1’s – as we like to call them – Norton and Brake.
Last but not least, there is a bet going on whose bag is going to be the lightest. The winner gets a free hot drink of their choice. Little do they know, that I’m saving room for Lori Levine in my bag… or anyone else who wants to marry me in Las Vegas if that fails. I’ve done my research and it costs $65’s for a drive-thru wedding at The White Chapel, so it’s not going to break the bank… but the colour red might break the bank.
Anyway, I’m really looking forward to these next two tourneys and hoping you all will be at one or the other – or if you’re really a legend… at both. (No pressure).
England for the WIN!!! Tune in tomorrow for the young referee, Cody Kuxmann, who moved from Green Bay to London, so he must really be a seal or a polar bear. Wait, Matt Hawkins is The Polar Bear.