Global Experts Analyze Six Nations & Fight To Avoid Wooden Spoon

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“It’s St. Patrick’s Day in London and the Irish will be pounding the streets like Godzilla in Tokyo.”

CARDIFF, WALES – Our quartet of West Ghana’s Rugby wunderkind Junoir Blaber, Ireland’s quick-witted fly-half (that’s redundant) Kevin Fegan, new-comer and French #8 Pyk O’Kallapfer and contrived Kiwi Johnathan Wicklow Barberie pick the the big matches for you. This week it’s the Six Nations. So, without further adieu…

Junoir Blaber... Kevin Fegan... Pyk O'Kallapfer... JWB

Straight from the Holy Grail, here are their picks:

SCOTLAND at ITALY: Cripples fighting… Sorry, but this is a physical altercation between to physically-challenged entities. The Wooden Spoon goes to Italy because Scotland’s backs are less worse (poor grammar intentional). Scots by 12
FRANCE at WALES: I want Wales to win since they have played the best, but the French are consistently inconsistent… France by 3
IRELAND at ENGLAND No way Ireland lose to England on St. Paddy’s Day. Teams are even, but Irish will be more motivated. Ireland by 5

Here we go! The finale! Last call for international rugby, Y’all! These three games will be tighter than a duck’s a$$. And that’s water-tight!
SCOTLAND at ITALY: The Wooden Spoon decider! Italy have beaten Scotland in the past and can be tough at home but this Scottish team is better than the results would have you believe. Arrivederci to any hopes of winning a game for Italy. Scotland in a bum-squeaker by 3
FRANCE at WALES: This should be a tackling showcase. Wales for the Grand Slam, France to save face. I think the Welsh have more to play for but it will not be easy. France are wounded and unpredictable. Wales are confident and consistent. Wales by 4
IRELAND at ENGLAND: The English team surprised a lot of people last week in Paris but It’s St. Patrick’s Day in London and the Irish will be pounding the streets like Godzilla in Tokyo. As the last game of the day the atmosphere will be huge and Ireland will not disappoint. Ireland by 5

SCOTLAND at ITALY: The fight to avoid the infamous Wooden Spoon! Funny but, this is probably the most interesting game this weekend ! Both teams are looking for their first victory, both threatened England and both play with their hearts.
Scotland has a very offensive style. Italy relies on a strong fighting spirit, forwards & kicking. Interesting battle will be between Sergio Parisse and the young Scottish Richie Gray. Because Italy have the home advantage -and out of Latin solidarity…  Italy by 2
FRANCE at WALES: Well, the so-called “final” is bound to be just a Welsh triumph. They have their revenge from the RWC semi-final to take, and it’s pretty clear they will. There are too many gaps in Les Bleus’ game-plan to threaten a team which is bound to win the Grand Slam in a boiling Millenium StadiumWales by 15
IRELAND at ENGLAND: There are literally no stakes left – except if Wales loses to France… England’s game-plan hasn’t aroused any enthusiasm and while their defense is undoubtedly quite strong, the way they play is simply not creative. Both teams had a similar game in France; England won and Ireland tied. Still, I’d say that Ireland has the best chance – their annoying high tackles and aggressive rucking is likely to unsettle a young English team. Trust the Irishmen to man-up for a last win for Saint Paddy’s Day. Because they are on the road, they will be less tempted to go out and celebrate! Ireland by 4

SCOTLAND at ITALY: This is all about cooking. The Scots are famous for their haggis – which would not be most people’s choice at the dinner table. The Italians, however, are masters in the kitchen – especially with sauce. And what does every good chef need to stir a great sauce? A Wooden Spoon. Scotland by 8
FRANCE at WALES: If Wales loses this, dare I say the disappointment will be worse than it was after Sam Warburton saw the Red in Alain Rolland’s eyes???? For the sake of World Peace, Wales hold on for a tight win… Wales by 6
IRELAND at ENGLAND: I said from the start that England had nothing to lose and everything to gain – yet I went with my head and bet against them in Paris last week. Lesson learned! Picking with my heart and my maternal ancestors – although Wales may choke and England could easily be crowned – on the Patron Saint’s day… Ireland by 6

Please feel free to state your case below.

About Johnathan Wicklow Barberie 118 Articles
JWB is the contrived Kiwi sports personality who can't go ANYWHERE without being asked for an autograph. He always obliges. Find him on Twitter at: @JWB_RWU