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Royal Eye Doctor

LONDON, ENGLAND – First of all, can anyone dispute that a rugby stud like Mike Tindall – despite living in England where there is a grave dearth of good-looking women – can readily find himself a fine lady? You naysayers, you will be heard below in the comment section… The man is captain of Team England for Petes’ sake and he’s marrying a young Camilla Parker Bowles!

Zara Phillips is a normal woman, that happens to be lucky enough to be born into well… royalty. Dare I say that if she wasn’t the granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth II, the only royalty she’d be fortunate enough to experience would  be rugby royaltyRugby Queen. And that’s not a lifetime crown – unless you’re really the fiery sort!

What’s more, we’re not even 100% certain that the wool isn’t being pulled over our collective gazing, watchful eyes, mates. Could it be – and really consider this – that it isn’t Mike Tindall that is marrying the Princess but an exact lookalike?! Bollocks, you say! Well consider this:

Nobody has ever seen Michael Tindall and Jason Statham in the same place.

This startling revelation not only underscores my ever-so-possible double-switch theory, but it also means that the English rugby captain also has rugged, movie-star good-looks to go with his bone-crunching (if often late) tackles in his Arsenal! Maybe it’s my specs that need fixing – and I’ll be sure to wear them in Mike’s presence to ward off any thoughts of him punching me in the nose – but if Hugh Grant could get Elizabeth Hurley and Dudley Moore could get Bo Derek, then Tindall can get himself a young Naomi Campbell or young Christy Turlington!

Am I wrong? Please enlighten me below.

Filed in: Johnathan Wicklow Barberie
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About the Author ()

JWB is the contrived Kiwi sports personality who can't go ANYWHERE without being asked for an autograph. He always obliges. Find him on Twitter at: @JWB_RWU

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