MIKE TINDALL NEEDS A ROYAL EYE DOCTOR

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Royal Eye Doctor

LONDON, ENGLAND – First of all, can anyone dispute that a rugby stud like Mike Tindall – despite living in England where there is a grave dearth of good-looking women – can readily find himself a fine lady? You naysayers, you will be heard below in the comment section… The man is captain of Team England for Petes’ sake and he’s marrying a young Camilla Parker Bowles!

Zara Phillips is a normal woman, that happens to be lucky enough to be born into well… royalty. Dare I say that if she wasn’t the granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth II, the only royalty she’d be fortunate enough to experience would  be rugby royaltyRugby Queen. And that’s not a lifetime crown – unless you’re really the fiery sort!

What’s more, we’re not even 100% certain that the wool isn’t being pulled over our collective gazing, watchful eyes, mates. Could it be – and really consider this – that it isn’t Mike Tindall that is marrying the Princess but an exact lookalike?! Bollocks, you say! Well consider this:

Nobody has ever seen Michael Tindall and Jason Statham in the same place.

This startling revelation not only underscores my ever-so-possible double-switch theory, but it also means that the English rugby captain also has rugged, movie-star good-looks to go with his bone-crunching (if often late) tackles in his Arsenal! Maybe it’s my specs that need fixing – and I’ll be sure to wear them in Mike’s presence to ward off any thoughts of him punching me in the nose – but if Hugh Grant could get Elizabeth Hurley and Dudley Moore could get Bo Derek, then Tindall can get himself a young Naomi Campbell or young Christy Turlington!

Am I wrong? Please enlighten me below.

About Johnathan Wicklow Barberie 118 Articles
JWB is the contrived Kiwi sports personality who can't go ANYWHERE without being asked for an autograph. He always obliges. Find him on Twitter at: @JWB_RWU