Every Tuesday, England 7s star Mathew Drew Turner takes on the role of pesky reporter for RWU.
This week I’ll be trying to confuse Nick Royle with my wit and dashing good looks, but mainly my borderline childish banter. To be honest he’s not the hardest person to confuse – he is from up north.
MDT: So Nick, first I would like to congrats on getting married a couple weeks ago. So who did you end up choosing was it Ping or Pong from secondhandthaibrides.co.uk?
NR: Neither. Got myself a lovely girl called Bilio. Wedding was good, had a couple of beef eaters, had asparagus for the first time then got married! P.s… Asparagus really does make your wee smell funny.
MDT: I’m happy for you my man, but slightly disappointed you didn’t choose Ping or Pong… I’m currently looking for a teammate to enter a beer pong contest! I hear the girls from that site are pretty good with ping pong balls! Some say trick-shot specialists… On tour we have a lot of time off to play table tennis, pool etc… What would you rate yourself out of 10 at table tennis? While we’re at it, tennis and soccer?
NR: Table Tennis im about at 7/10 but in terms of tennis and football im well up there with the best in the world! by far the best at soccer/football in the team.
MDT: Wow Nick, you seem like a really talented man. I’ve played tennis against you and football; from what I remember, you lost both times. And unfortunately, you cant keep blaming your teammates. Anyway, you first played Rugby League then crossed over to Union, like the SBW and Ashton! What made you make the move across? And there’s a rumour that’s why u cant pass!!
NR: I can pass! You meet outside for a pass off!!! In league, I never used to have to pass… either scored or got smashed. Dan Norton would be as useful as a corner flag in League.
MDT: Favorite tournament?
NR: Harpenden. It’s the only one I’ve ever won! On the series, I would say Dubai. Awesome support. The crowd is loud and all having a good time. The main plus of a loud crowd is I cant hear Dan Shnorton – so I can ignore him.
MDT: At the Tender age of 27 you ve decided to get in touch with a hobby that most retired 60-year-old people do. Yes, I’m talking about your metal detecting! How is it going for you?
NR: You know, it’s actually quite fun. Its just you and this beeping noise alone in a field or forest, it’s relaxing (suppose it’s better than just you and Palmala Handerson in your room) I’ve recently joined Runcorn Metal Detecting Society and we re off to a castle this weekend, cant tell you which castle but its gonna be great and its only £20 a year!
MDT: What’s it like having bow legs? Can you claim disability benefits?
NR: Bow legs are great! hard for people to ankle tap you, but people say something about walking like John Wayne but they know nothing.
MDT: There’s an ongoing battle for “slap hands of the day”(person who drops the ball the most in a training session) I hear its pretty close between yourself, Shnorton and James “Big Ging” Rodwell?
1) Dan Norton
2) James Rodwell
3) Mat Turner – going off the last tournaments!
MDT: I agree with the first two, but come on! You’re the one who has spade hands! You couldn’t catch a cold if you tried! Anyway… How well do you know Andy Peters?
NR: Petes and I kinder know each other. I got a free ticket for a show from him once, but I think it’s time we go for a Nando’s.
MDT: Is it true if you block your nose you can’t taste anything?
NR: It’s a fact of life. that is true. If you can’t smell, you can’t taste.
MDT: Lastly,who’s going to win the World Cup?
NR: World Cup??? The Football World Cup was last year! Is that a trick question?
MDT: Thanks for your time, Nick! You were good value as always. It’s good to have you back with the squad and I can’t wait to do push-ups in training cause of all the balls being dropped, thanks to you and Dan Norton.
NR: Thank you. I think.
Tune in Wednesday (in NYC) for RWC Round II picks by Johnathan Wicklow Barberie and Declan Yeats.