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WELLINGTON, NZ“Take my wife, please!” That’s the kind of one-liner French Defense has become for comedians world-wide since, well… France began. And it was no different in Wellington last night as Tonga broke through the heavily favor French line to produce 19 points in a 19-14 upset of epic proportions in the 2011 Rugby World Cup.

Granted, each squad scored but 1 try apiece, but Tonga dominated territorially and put on a tackling clinic.

Coach Lièvremont: Il n'est pas heureusx.

“We played really bad rugby. Congratulations to Tonga. They played with their hearts.” summized France captain Thierry Dusautoir.

Oui, Thierry. C’est vrai. Maybe, if you played like you were interested and served up a better… defense… you’d be heading into the quarter-finals on high, rather than back-dooring your way in.

Sione Kalamamoni was the Mastercard Man Of The Match, for Tonga, a country with a population 104,000 compared to France’s opulation of 62 million. Captain Finau Maka left at half-time,  cut under his eye and gauze stuffed in his nose. His brother, Head Coach Isitola Maka, stated the obvious: “In Tonga right now they’re going crazy.

Not so, in France.

Over in Auckland, Scotland are the Boston Red Sox of the RWC; blowing two late, seemingly comfortable leads, very late in their last two matches. Last match, they let Argentina score of a late restart and opted for a dropkick from 15 meters – that was missed – to give the ball and the game away. Last night, they let England score in the last minutes by wing Chris Ashton, to turn another thrilling victory into a devastating defeat. It’s rumored that William Wallace was seen vomiting haggis in Aberdeen.

As for our SporGuru RWC Pool Picks, we remain on top despite picking France – only because NOBODY PICKED TONGA… The French could screw up a two-car funeral! Sacré bleu!

Check out our picks and standing below:


About Johnathan Wicklow Barberie 118 Articles
JWB is the contrived Kiwi sports personality who can't go ANYWHERE without being asked for an autograph. He always obliges. Find him on Twitter at: @JWB_RWU