Rugby 7s Star Mathew Drew Turner Advises Boks & England; Picks RWC Winners

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Every Tuesday, England 7s star Mathew Drew Turner takes on the role of brazen, if not cheeky, reporter for RWU.
CAPE TOWN, S.A. – This is my second week writing from Cape Town and it has been a week filled with abuse from friends and randoms about the happenings in the England game and probably the most dissatisfying Sunday morning in a long time (all intention on rugby there nothing else).

So today I am going to be talking about this past weekend’s games, with the exception of the New Zealand versus Argentina game –  just another pool game for New Zealand really – and to be honest, I don’t really feel like talking about that game. I am way too busy getting everyone back for their abuse of me.

Firstly, the Wales and Ireland game: By far the most competitive game of the weekend (barring the RSA vs Aus game – more about that later). It was Youth vs Experience (aged). Both teams played some awesome rugby in both attack and defense, and I’m not going to lie – I thought Ireland was going to win even after that start from Wales (that surely gets me some brownie points with Declan Yeats). But to the surprise of everyone I was watching with, Wales went on to win it and believe they will go onto make the final… and everyone knows a final can go either way, and normally comes down to kicks.

High-Five, Bryce!

Now onto the game that I got A LOT of abuse for, especially being in Cape Town at the time. But I got my own back the morning after – cheers to Bryce Lawrence, you’re the man! The cheque is on the way. Anyway, everyone knows that France always have a freak game in them, where against all odds they play with that French flair and ability of past French. I’m sure all you Kiwis know what I’m talking about. And I bet all of you are hoping Wales beat Les Blues in the semi so there’s not a repeat of the last World Cup! It’s so French how they could possibly have the worst build up to a game, but then play their best rugby of the tournament. Such a backwards nation!

England??? Well, what can you say? Yes, I’m still waiting for them to run out of the changing room any minute! I don’t know if it was the occasion or all the other things that have happened around the team but it looked like they had been doing their skill sessions with dwarves instead of balls… Wait, were they? Truly, watching the game was like watching a video of Nicky Royle and Dan Shnorton train for 7s. They are both still in close contention for Slap Hands of the season 2010-2011, by the way.

Back to my man, Bryce Lawrence… Mr. Lawrence has officially topped the charts of The Most Wanted Man In South Africa. He is blamed for ruining the summer holidays for many Kiwis currently in South Africa. Even the Dalai Lama has a better chance of getting a visa into South Africa. As for the Wallabies,  the greatest medal possible in Australia should be awarded to David Pocock, as he single-handedly won the game for Australia. I don’t know if he knows magic or if it’s his African roots that enable him to steal the ball illegally and get away with it. It was some of the finest daylight robbery I have seen! At the end of the game Australia played the Ref the best, which lead to their victory. South Africans would put paid instead of played down as public record.  So, to all of you who abused me and said your teams of the World Cup, etc. because of me??? Here’s a little pat on the back followed by a hearty: “It happens to the best of us.”

Brake Job?

Next week, I will be interviewing my teammate and England 7s star – the one the only John Brake aka Lil Red, on the streets… or Diffuser in any altercation. Be prepared to hear some stories from murders to running in fields full of flowers with his partner. Seriously.

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