BUCKINGHAM PALACE, ENGLAND – After the stunningly poor showing by Rugby World Cup host nation England, none other than Her Royal Majesty is said to be deciding the fate of “axed” Head Coach, Stuart Lancaster.
Even more shocking, is the rumor that The Queen will be replacing the Prime Minister of Australia with England Rugby giant (literally) – Martin Johnson.
These stunning revelations called the RWU Staff into action, and our globe-trotting Kiwi[ish] correspondent, Johnathan Wicklow Barberie, high-tailed it to England to secure the breaking stories… and slug down a few Wolfpack Lagers, the new beer from USA and Saracens star Chris Wyles (was he involved in the axing?!) and his Wildman Craft Beer Co.
Here’s JWB’s earth-quaking report:
Three things that we know from this:
1) Stuart Lancaster should wear a nose and glasses and use a Jersey Shore accent.
2) Martin Johnson will be fun to watch stomping on Wallabies/Aussies again
3) You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t pull the mask off the ol’ Long Ranger and you don’t mess around with Liz.
4) Wolfpack Lager is one heckuva good beer and Reason #231 why we should all be jealous of Chris Wyles. And he wasn’t involved in Stuart Lancater’s “end.”
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