Mat Turner Tuesday: England Rugby Star Taking Questions re Movember, Selections & Senoritas

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LONDON, ENGLAND – Back in the tropical weather of England and feeling a little fragile from the 5 games in one day and have hit rock bottom after my mass consumption of those Red Bull shots!! Whoever’s idea is it was to play 5 games in one day has clearly not played sevens before..

Elche must be the bum-hole of Spain! There is no other way to describe it! its just shit in all aspects! The highlight, besides the 7s, was noticing one girl didn’t have a mustache… but then after having a 10-minute discussion about it, you might being this non-mustachioed person to be a prepubescent boy.

Everyone played well with Shnorton [Dan Norton] and [Nick]Royle running in loads of tries – more Norts than Nick. Nick’s not going to like me saying that but they’re… “friends.” See, Nick has this special ability to drop the ball once he’s done all the hard work. Anyway, Selectionis going to be interesting for these first tournaments; I wouldn’t want to be selecting the side.

They stink... Literally.

Gold Coast, Dubai and Port Elizabeth sounds like an amazing holiday… I mean Business trip. The HSBC 7s Series is hands down the best sporting event to be involved with. Most teams have been keeping under the radar and not much has been said about most squads this year, so I think the first few rounds are going to be very surprising. We are likely to see a few upsets. Then again, there are always surprises on the Sevens Series; that’s what makes it so exciting.

Has anyone seen the shorts of a certain team I shall not mention… but will display in the picture to the left? What are your thoughts on that, exactly?

Mustache rides 5 cents.

Now some random news:

Rodwell feels crumby.

But first, I hope everyone has had a great start to their Movembers and the growing is going strong.
1) Russell Earnshaw our assistant coach got a red card and has decided to hang his boots up (finally he was hanging on till the last thread broke)
2) Nick Royle buys a new metal detector (thats officially the biggest thing to happen in North England)
3) James Rodwell drops onto one knee to Hoover up all his biscuit crumbs, before his future wife busts him for eating biscuits.
4) Dan Norton gets more kills than deaths in Call of Duty on the Xbox.
5) Sam Edgerley has officially been classified as a midget.
6) Mat Turner has been once again named the best looking man in world rugby.
7) Last but not least, Declan Yeats ate himself into a coma after eating a whole KFC Bucket Meal. Follow this old mick prop on Twitter: @DeclanYeats. And check him out in the John Kirwan interview below.

If all goes to plan, next week will be my last week of writing in England until the new year, so wish me luck!  And if anyone has any questions, don’t be scared to ask i never bite… too hard.  😉

Over and Out.

Tomorrow, a surprise column – or will it be a video? Stay tuned.